Once Upon a Time in the Vineyard

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TERESITA TANSECO-CRUZ

 

Once upon a time, God lived in my parish church, where I met him on Sundays for a one-hour intermission from my daily life as a miserable slave to a monster called Anxiety. I was so stressed I might as well have been called “Stressita.” My spot in God’s vineyard teemed with unattractive growths – nothing there but thorns of my vanity and apprehensions.

I longed for deliverance from the monster, but the landscape was bleak. Finally, a knight was sent to rescue me – frail-looking but tenaciously wielding his Ignatian “sword “: the Spiritual Deepening weekends. At the close of every such weekend, I begged God earnestly for my call to discipleship, not realizing that it came with a starter kit called ” surrender.” Wait! What’s that?! Even as anxiety was easily familiar and surrender a stranger, I was willing to try. Many times I did, but failed. Or so I thought.

In his mercy, God saw my heart through the endless jump-starts and took all those attempts as my training. Slowly I started to feel less and less insecure that I was not in control because He was. Fearless Trust. I do my “work” on the ground, then relax; God has my back. My life is absolutely in His hands. No one can care for me or love me or forgive me or pick me up when I fall or calm me or reduce me to tears of joy better than He. Can anything be more liberating and comforting and stress-reducing than that?

Today in my spot in the vineyard, I pray that I may keep the soil fertile with trust and openness to God’s plans, diligence in following them, and always – gratitude. I don’t worry about vibrant blooms or pesky ubiquitous weeds; He takes care of that. Humbly, I ask Him to include me in the eternal harvest.

6 COMMENTS

  3. And most certainly a tree shall be known by its fruits (Matthew 7:19-20)! For your life of surrender and vulnerability (to His molding, and throwing anxiety away), you are rewarded by how you touch the lives of others through a life of witness of virtue and character. Thank you for sharing Ate Baby.

  5. So beautiful Tita Baby and I love the painting that was chosen. May we all continue to remain as a branch that draws life from The Vine.

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