“Girl Before a Mirror” (Picasso)
CELERY
I once attended a conference in Chicago on the adopted child. It was partly for my voluntary work in a child-caring agency in Metro Manila. The speaker brought a stuffed donkey whose head had two faces – one in front and one at the back. She introduced this stuffed animal as the adopted child, a person with two identities.
This message was an eye-opener for me. In my work, the standard point of view was that it was in the child’s best interest to get adopted. His origin of birth is left hidden or in the background.
But the speaker, an adoptee herself, impressed and enlightened me with her perspective of two identities. What a positive psychological impact it would have on the adopted child. If he is helped to accept that he is as God created him regardless of how he came into the world, fear or shame would no longer haunt him. He can begin to feel safe in who he is, with no need to pretend, lie, or hide. As he learns to see himself as God’s creation and as a child loved by his adoptive parents, his need to be “accepted” in the judging eyes of others would begin to diminish. And as his two identities merge into one whole person, his journey towards authenticity can begin.
In a very similar way, when the priest baptized me, I received a new status – a new identity as a Christian and an adopted child of God. Ephesians 1: 5 says, “In love, he destined us for adoption to himself through Jesus Christ.”
The adopted child and I, as a Christian, have one thing in common. We are recipients of a gift which should inevitably transform us into our new identity. My undeniable imperfections, as a human being, are part of who I am. I often get influenced by others’ expectations or judgments, and that’s when a fracture within occurs. But when I hang on to God’s truth, my weak, fragmented side is strengthened, and I am made whole. This path towards my authenticity is my life’s journey, which is hard, long, and arduous. But as long as I maintain a humble posture wherein I see myself as God sees me, I know I will be on the right side of things. To be authentic – to be who I honestly am outside and inside – will then be within my reach.