Rays of Awesome

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AMANDA T. LISING

There was a time when people recognized that I was in a rut. “It” had started in my teens.

I barely graduated, my social life was zilch, and I spent more and more time locked in my room, either connected to the internet or sleeping for hours on end. It’s safe to say that things went worse from there. It was so bad that I tell people who ask me about it that I “lost my twenties.” I had gone from teen angst and depression to full-on … well, that’s a story for another day.

What I would like to share with you now is not about my death but my life. At this moment, I remember only bits and pieces of it!  The slow recovery healed me that I don’t even know what it feels like to be down… my soul so content that these traumatic experiences are becoming entertaining anecdotes to add to my story on this Earth.

Like many of you who have your own experiences with a higher being, I have many stories as well. But I can say for sure over the years God has shown his quiet, undeniable presence, one that I am still learning to listen to. Do you know what he has told my mother and me? We are imperfect but perfect in the Lord.

This divine presence reminds me of a book by Jen Sincero called “You are a Badass.” She says that if you send a positive frequency, you emit positive vibes and vice versa.   I am only three-fourths done with the book, but she confirms what I firmly believe that you are the most awesome, unique creature of the Lord in mind, soul, and body, and you will emanate it from your core.

16 COMMENTS

  1. This is a brave, confident, inspiring(and ultimately humble) sharing that can only empower and encourage others whose experiences/lives are akin to yours, Amanda. You are a wonderful person.

  2. Yes, truly amazed at how God continues to work in our lives.
    You are awesome, Amanda, and yes, perfect in the Lord’s eyes!

  3. Amanda, you are so blessed with a family that loves you unconditionally !!! It is love that heals our weakness and our darkness. I see it in your family and it confirms my own experience of love in my family. Let us continue to pray for each other and allow the Lord to transform us in His image so we can be witnesses of His love for others.

  4. Amanda what an awesome revelation, God be with you and your family! You’re not alone in this journey and sharing this transformation is indeed an inspiration.

  5. Amanda, very inspiring sharing. You are so blessed with people around you, loving and caring for you, endlessly. God loves you so much!

  6. Amanda, what beautiful, sensitive writing!

    In less than 300 words you were able to reveal the limbo you were in, and describe the young lady you’ve resurrected into! Thank you for sharing your story, and giving hope to many!

  7. When you left for college, Amanda, you had inspired someone to send you off with “Go shine, Amanda!” And so you have. You have squeezed through untold tortuous passages with remarkable courage, faith and tenacious response to God’s grace.
    Perhaps you did not lose your twenties. Perhaps it was just a particularly challenging but stunning journey of a special caterpillar on her way to becoming a glorious butterfly.

    Thank you for your generosity in allowing us a glimpse into that journey. May you inspire others to emerge from shadow to sunshine, in God’s company, just as you have. Magnificently.

  8. Way to go, Amanda. You had a challenging journey growing up . Your journey serves as an inspiration to parents to be hopeful about the future, never getting stuck in present challenges. For me, you are one White Butterfly who managed to keave her own unique cocoon with God’s grace and love of family.

  9. What a beautiful revelation Amanda and it’s very touching because it comes from your heart. Only God could have inspired you to share this with others. No wonder your mom feels so proud of you. We too feel proud of you. Just continue to be in touch with yourself, with your family and friends and of course with God. Jesus loves you dearly and many people love you including us.

  10. Congratulations Amanda for being not only a great writer but someone so in touch with her inner self. Looking forward to hearing more from you!

  11. Thank you Amanda and Tita Celia for sharing. Your heart, soul and the spirit shine through.

    When I was about the age you describe here, during a trip to the Philippines, your Dad taught me an important life lesson: Forgive yourself. “For what?”, I asked for days. “For not being perfect.”

    I’ve since had deep reflections and conversations on this over the past decades with your Mom, family, friends and in fellowship. I agree on a few points:
    1. I am perfectly imperfect.
    2. You ARE a Badass

    Much love and respect.

  12. God’s love for you, Amanda, remains constant and does not depend on your behavior. His love does not increase if you are good; neither does it decrease if you are bad. “Remain in His Love!”

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