I Am A Senior Citizen, I Have the Right to be Confused

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TERESITA TANSECO-CRUZ

WE DIVERT MOMENTARILY, FOR SOME LIGHT MOMENTS IN OUR JOURNEY.

Note: Many observations expressed in this article, written ten years ago, are based on actual events. The author is no less bewildered today but is happier to somehow be less alone in her confusion. 

A Mac comes from Apple; a Big Mac comes in a bun.

Bytes are contained in one, but you can take bites of the other.

You stay dry while surfing; you see no cement in a firewall.

Look for Bluetooth not in your mouth but your earpiece. 

Think portal is a simple doorway? Try weather in Tasmania, mail from California, news from Cambodia…the choices will overwhelm ya!

A web has no spiders, only lots of info crawling about

A virus brings no fever, but headaches galore.

An icon ain’t a formidable figure,  just tiny enough to click with a finger.

To boot up, do not go to your shoe closet.

When you hear  “search engine,” do not open the hood of your car.

A cell is for communication, not incarceration.

Your tools contain your dictionary, not your hammer.

Your fax machine is dedicated, not devoted.

When asked the size of your external drive, do not say 4 x 3 inches.

When they talk of memory, do not recall your past, no matter how interesting. 

Burning needs no fire, blank CD’s 

CD‘s do not mean Certificate of Deposit or Christian Doctrine.

When you hear cookies, do not ask, “ chewy or crispy ?”

At the sound of chips, do not reach for that dip.

Cool and hot seem to mean the same; you’re “in”

So finally— when you’re  feeling old or slow, with little energy,

Casually say, “I’m low batt now, but will soon be cool again!”

6 COMMENTS

  1. So true and very funny indeed. Remember those days when people used to write in their diaries and they got mad when someone read them since their diaries are private and sacred matters. Now, people put every detail about their lives on Facebook, and they get upset when no one reads or like them. The irony of life!!!

  5. The words are the same yet the meaning and usage are poles apart. This is so light and funny…. wonderfully written. These days really are confusing for a Senior isn’t it?

  6. Hi Ate Baby, how apt and appropo! Your wit and humor capture your very insightful posture which resonates with our own experience of grappling with the rapidly changing world around us. Thank you for this brief, light, humorous respite from the very real and fast pace of the world whizzing by, far faster than our own imagination and mental capacity can often understand!

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