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A Rome Retreat

November 2, 2019

486

JOENONO TALE

A Couples for Christ (CFC) brother told me during our home leave in the Philippines that we were not in the Vatican Office in Rome for a mission. Rather, he believes that we are in Rome for a 2-year retreat. After some pondering, I realized he was right.

In addition to being on a mission, we are here on a retreat – from our usual routine in the Philippines, from our comfort zone of family and friends, from the familiar we have been used to.

We have been kept reasonably busy with my responsibilities as Vatican Relations Head, Coordinator of the fledgling CFC European Regional Mission Center, and our new pastoral role for CFC Rome and even Italy.

But between meetings, traveling, networking, households, assemblies, conferences, talks, etc., I often find myself being still and praying and reflecting on many things. Doubts do come. Is this really where the Lord wants us to be at this stage of our life?

There are times when homesickness brings in yearning for the company of family and of long time friends, missing the mobility to go anywhere we want to. Anxiety about our health also surfaces, given the discomfort of not communicating with doctors and nurses because of the language barrier. Sometimes our self-confidence is challenged, and we wonder if we can really sort out the many pastoral, cultural, and relationship challenges that confront the community.

I suppose similar moments come to many of us at one time or the other, whether we are a missionary or not, whether clergy or lay, whether at home or in some mission field far away.

In times like these, we are kept whole by the Lord’s assurance, that this work is His and we are merely His instruments, that He will be with us wherever He sends us, and that He will equip us with the strength and ability we need, and supply and provide whatever we lack.

Indeed, we are on a continuing retreat, a time of engaging in prayer, reflection, and contemplation.

Of course, there are added aspects to this special retreat because we are in Rome, in the Vatican, the center of our faith. We are in Europe, the stronghold of Catholicism in the past, although declining now. There are many things to observe or learn from, apply, or avoid as we pursue our vision and mission in Couples for Christ.

Further realizations emerge from this retreat. The Church, for instance, even at the leadership level in the Vatican, is and will be embroiled with many conflicts and issues. The goodness, fresh wind, and reforms that Pope Francis has brought about is opposed, and sometimes severely, by some. Although the opposition is expected of any change, its severity can get disappointing and even demoralizing. But is it not the case for many things globally, in spiritual institutions and movements, including CFC?

What our own journey here clearly points out is that we should strengthen our roots in the Word. Amidst all that is happening, amidst the issues and conflicts and even confusion, we should find our way clear to the Word of God. And live it out in our lives.

Matthew 23:35

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.

ISAIAH 55:10-11

My word is like the snow and the rain that come down from the sky to water the earth..it will not fail to do what I plan for it; it will do everything I send it to do.

As I went back to the Word and reflected on my own situation, especially what the Lord, in general, wants me to do, I was led to one of my chosen life verses:

Micah 6:8

He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”