ADETTE
Even unfortunate events such as an accident that broke my right wrist can bring many blessings. For a little over 2 months, my arm was “imprisoned in maximum security” by a cast to allow my radial bones to “reconnect.” I suffered much discomfort and pain, especially during the first 2 weeks. Even just finding the right position so I can sleep was a real challenge! First, I counted the months, then weeks, then finally the last countdown for the cast removal!
My body adjusted. Being ambidextrous helped me manage albeit with difficulty through the diminishing pain and discomfort, especially in typing and managing my gadgets in virtual work and virtual meetings. I struggled with the loss of my independence and a changing image of myself. Accepting vulnerability and my incapacity to do what I want to do was a humbling growing experience and learning to be patient with myself and with others.
When the cast was finally removed, I was full of excitement, anticipation, and determination to regain my range of motion. I wanted to be able to write again with my right hand. I wanted to drive, cook, to be more productive at work again. But for a week, the only change I experienced was finally taking a full bath and more pain as I tried to move my hand. The months of immobilization caused my arm, hand, and fingers to be stiff and swollen. It was to be a slow day to day painful effort. I needed to grow in patience and more determination to endure the pain of rehabilitation. Worse, I also saw that during the healing, the pressure of the cast somehow caused the opposite side of my wrist to be slightly deformed, and the alignment of my wrist was changed.
I realized that the experience of a broken wrist was somehow similar yet different from my experience of a broken bond of relationship. Just like the fall caused my broken wrist, an unintended word and reaction broke a fragile relationship I had with a loved one. This time, it brought a lot of emotional pain and discomfort, knowing that both of us felt the break in our emotional bond, and I needed a different kind of “cast” to heal and reconnect our relationship.
Like what was needed to mend my bone, the cast for maximum security does not hold in relationships; it can only serve to imprison us in fear of being more hurt. This kind of broken bond needs to be exposed to God’s healing grace and be willing to be broken again and again.
God reconnects all forms of brokenness, and the broken wrist became the initial instrument for reconnection. A deep sense of concern broke through the ice to open a channel of communication. That small channel was kept open by God’s graces coming from prayers and daily mass. In time, the grace to love in humility, patient understanding, acceptance of my own weaknesses, and own my part in the conflict eventually bore fruit. However, it was as fragile as a beautiful porcelain jar that needs care in handling.
My spiritual exercises were centered on growing in the quiet virtues of meekness, empathy, and compassion. The accompaniment of Mama Mary as my guide, especially during the Mary’s Mantle consecration, helped me realize the many virtues that I lacked and needed to grow in. The cast that worked was the cast of God’s enduring love cushioned by Mary’s constant presence and reminders.
Holding a relationship is like holding a beautiful, fragile bone china in our hands. Indeed, brokenness is a consequence of loving. And the beauty of love is that it does not deform. Instead, it re-forms into something more beautiful, something more precious that makes it worth everything in the world.