Heal as One in the Power of the Cross*

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DADA LORENZANA SANTIAGO

Life is a journey.

As we travel, we experience moments of joy and  sorrow. 

When I look back on my journey, I would say that I have had a good share of blessings. My parents provided well for our family and nourished us both physically and spiritually. Good education gave me a foundation for a successful career in TV newscasting and advertising. 

At 30, I got married to the love of my life. God blessed us with a daughter and a son. My husband, Mon, and I worked hard to provide for them and send them to good schools. 

The first big challenges came when my son, at five years old, was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD). I had to give up a high-paying job that spanned 21 years to spend time with him.  With prayers for God’s guidance, I tutored him and managed his behavior. He hurdled the challenges of staying in a traditional school. Now, he is a third-year law student. God transforms challenges into opportunities.

But life is a series of falling and rising, just like Jesus on his way to Calvary. In 2009, our Pasig home was inundated 10 feet deep in the floods of Ondoy. It was devastating, but it prompted us to relocate to a much safer place in BF Homes Parañaque, where God brought me to the Heart of the Lamb Intercessors (HOLI) prayer group. After a few Thursday sessions with the group, I realized that this was the answer to my prayer since childhood: “Lord, make me know and love you more and more each day.” Though I served in church, I longed to have a more personal and intimate relationship with Him. HOLI Foundress and Spiritual Directress, Sr. Cristina Guevara, taught us to meditate and contemplate the Gospel, write our reflections in our journal, and share our innermost thoughts with our group. These, in addition to interceding for other people’s prayers. 

I later saw God’s hand moving in, bringing me to HOLI. It was to prepare me for the heaviest cross I was to bear. In Feb. 2018, my beloved husband of 32 years was diagnosed with acute and terminal liver cancer. I prayed fervently and asked for strength. My compassionate prayer partners in HOLI, and even our Spiritual Director, Fr. Willie Ramos, accompanied us on this most difficult journey.  He brought Holy Communion to Mon every Sunday and repeatedly told us to trust God and entrust everything to Him. I was amazed at the strength God gave me to carry this cross. The Lord extended his life for one year, and he experienced pain only towards the end of his illness. When his appointed time came, he raised both his arms to heaven and said, “Gusto ko na!” (I already want it). We knew that God had taken him into His eternal Kingdom. 

I accepted Mon’s death very calmly and went on to do the things I needed to do after the death of a spouse. But two months after he had gone, the change in my life sunk in. I felt alone, fearful of facing life without Mon. All the tears that had welled up inside me for more than a year came gushing out. I lost the energy to do anything and felt that life had no meaning and purpose. I was fighting depression, and the only way to do it was through prayer. I poured out my lamentations of sorrow and fear to Jesus.  It was in silence that I learned to listen to Him more. Jesus told me, “I am with you, and I am suffering with you.” He was asking me to trust Him more in the darkest time of my life. I gazed at Jesus, whom we had nailed on the cross. He totally surrendered His will to God. He persevered in His suffering out of His great love for us. That is what the cross is – a symbol of love. 

In my life’s ups and downs, I have learned that sorrow and suffering are part and parcel of our lives. I have seen that in the sharing of our reflections in our HOLI group. We all have our crosses to bear, and we all heal as one, even if it is a continuing process. Truly, our faith grows deeper in pain and suffering.

 

*Shared at the Anniversary Celebration of the Heart of the Lamb Intercessors on September 19. 2020.

20 COMMENTS

  2. Dada, you have touched lives (including mine) more than you know. Pillar of strength through faith!

    • Now I can tell you that I was on the brink of depression when we were on pilgrimage. That’s why I was more quiet then. With God’s grace, I’ve bounced back. The Amazing Habibis were my companions in my journey of healing. 💕

  6. Thank you, Dada, for sharing your beautiful and truly inspirational life story. May the Lord continue to guide and bless you abundantly.

  7. Beautiful story Dada, thank you for sharing and inspiring many – with your career, love of family, and friendships. Great to know you from the pilgrimage, hope to be with you again on the future ones.

    • Thank you Lorna. I look forward to seeing you and Bob again. Who knows? Maybe in another pilgrimage. Take care and stay healthy. Regards to Bob.

  8. Are you the Dada I knew at Citi about 40 years ago? Long years of transformation for us…. Boy Nazareno

    Your life story reminded me of “Hinds’ Feet on High Places” by English author Hannah Hurnard.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hinds%27_Feet_on_High_Places

    Wikipedia says: “It is the story of a young woman named Much Afraid, and her journey away from her Fearing family and into the High Places of the Shepherd, guided by her two companions Sorrow and Suffering.

    It is an allegory of a Christian devotional life from salvation through maturity. It aims to show how a Christian is transformed from unbeliever to immature believer to mature believer, who walks daily with God as easily on the High Places of Joy in the spirit as in the daily life of mundane and often humiliating tasks that may cause Christians to lose perspective.”

    Yup. Hang on. It is the Lord! Regards and God bless.

  9. Hi Dada.. that is such a touching & inspiring story of the Power of the Cross.. There is truly nowhere else we can go to in difficult trying moments except to the foot of the cross.

  10. Dada, so touching. Sorrow is but a kiss of Christ. We have to undergo sufferings to share the Cross of Christ. Thank you for sharing your life’s journey of faith.

  12. Da, your “Jesus Story” has evolved beautifully like a (white) butterfly that has gone thru different life-giving stages… the darkness of a cocoon and the freeing experience of being able to flutter its wings and fly and bring hope to the flowers around you. 🐛🦋🌻🌷🌸

  14. My dear Sis Dada,
    Goose bumps…goose bumps…tears welled my eyes as I read your story. God gives, God takes away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord! Thank you for sharing your story. A testament of God’s faithfulness and your faithfulness. He must be smiling with Mon beside Him saying, “She is my wife. ” Do I see Abba looking at Mon with a lot of joy to reply, “She is my daughter, with whom I am well-pleased ”
    ,

    • San, we must talk. It’s been a long time. If you are fully immunized like me better sana kung face-to-face. You have been an essential figure in my spiritual journey. Take care and stay safe in God’s loving embrace 🤗

      PS – You have interesting stories to tell

  15. What a beautiful story, Ninang. I’m so proud of you. You remained strong and have kept that smile on your face even in the midst of your pain & suffering.

    Thank you for reminding us that all will come to pass and to just trust in our good God.🙏🏻 ❤️

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