TERESITA TANSECO-CRUZ
It’s the scene of the Crucifixion. I watch the people on the ground and wonder, more from casual curiosity than serious pondering, if I see anyone I can identify with – not someone I would like to be, but someone who resembles me most, as I really am. I see no one, but then my eyes wander upward…and THERE! That’s me, the penitent thief, sinful but humbly asking Jesus not to forget me in Paradise! Okay, I’m good. That was painless!
WAIT…not so fast. Suddenly, I remember there’s that guy hanging on the other side of Jesus…the one who mockingly challenges Christ as the “supposed” Messiah to get the three of them off their crosses, as in – “right now, before I die here!” Full of self-serving want, defiance, and pomposity.
Slowly, now painfully, I cringe at how frighteningly familiar he looks. Quickly, now shamefully, I see myself enjoying those regular ego binges, smugly “in control” and self-satisfied, teeming with hubris, apparently headed elsewhere but Paradise.
So here I am, two thieves in one: arrogant and penitent. I pray for the former not to prevail, haughtily demanding swift deliverance from my cross. I pray to be able to cling humbly instead to the Supreme Lover, my Savior, nailed to The Cross between my two competing selves. I ask Him to throw me the lifeline of His staggering compassion, fidelity, and mercy.
I ask Jesus to grant me the grace to keep dying to myself on earth so He can welcome me home free and alive, to Paradise.
Thank you Teresita for your reflection. It gives me the courage to also look into the 2 thieves within me. I also pray for God’s mercy that my selfish ego may die so that Jesus may come alive within me.
Thank you Tita Baby for this very real reflection of who we each are. Like the Prodigal Son and the Elder Brother we carry within us both our ego and our conscience. May each of us strive to be able to say: Jesus remember me when You are in Paradise.
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