CELERY
Several weeks ago, on one of those days I was fixing my things, I came across my daughter, Amanda’s card for me on my 75th birthday, December 16, 2021. It reminded me of her surprise birthday Zoom, complete with Mass by our dear friend, Fr. Lambert Ramos, and she asked her three siblings to join her in celebrating my birthday. Her gesture so touched me and was in tears most of the time on Zoom. I found out later through friends and relatives that she had planned these months and was successful in keeping it a secret from me.
Anyway, I decided to put that card first among my books on my bookshelves, where I could see the large print “Mom” on the envelope.
The day after Amanda’s sudden death due to her worst episode of schizophrenia, while I was in total shock and grief, a clear message and direction came. Amanda is reorienting my life. She is paving the way for my husband and me to prepare for our own departure, making sure I concentrate on living single-heartedly for God – living the rest of my earthly time worthy of the promise of eternal life that Jesus earned on the Cross for us.
Here was her note to me on that beautiful, heartwarming day.
My dearest Mom,
First of all, I apologize for the tear in the card. It is very old but precious. I kept it till I knew I could give it to someone who would have a laugh about it. In fact, I’m sure the words you will use is, it’s cute. Very cute. Anyway, it is so early, December 5, 2021, but I am bursting to write this letter to you for this very special day.
Over lunch, as you were talking about your life, I realized I don’t know you, I mean yes, I can say you are a down-to-earth, independent, open-minded beautiful soul that I have the privilege to call my friend and mother. But I know there’s more to you than that.
In my 36 years of knowing you, it’s been mostly about me. How to understand Amanda. How to deal with Amanda. How to nurture Amanda. And I think, now that I am ready to stand on my own two feet, the situation should and will reverse. As you are aging, Mom (don’t worry, you don’t look it. Hahaha), I feel the need to take care of you. Not because I need to or have some kind of agenda. But because I have grown to love you with such an affinity, it is natural for me to want to keep you as happy as possible.
Let’s spend these next years getting to know each other more and more. I will never be able to accept that one day you will no longer be with me, but I have got to remember that your soul is meant for a place beyond anything we can imagine possible. It is meant for eternity, it is meant for God. So I pray that while I get to be with you, I will hold on as tight as I can and treasure these times together.
Happy 75 years, Mom. Love always, Amanda
Amanda and I did hold on tight to the end. We were in a tight embrace in bed while we finished praying our third Sorrowful Mystery of the rosary that night, moments before she died. God’s gift to Amanda, I believe, was to spare her the fear of being left alone on earth without me.
What a moving account of your tender moments with Amanda! As a mother of four sons, and having no daughters, I have always wanted a girl. Even now, at 84, I still believe that . . . “ a son is a son until he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for life!”
Amanda is surely looking after you from on high.
This is so wonderfully BEAUTIFUL, Celia! Indeed your bond was most precious, and truly as you say, God’s gift to Amanda!
It should warm your heart, put a smile on your lips and strongly assure you that Amanda can only be happiest where she is – in God’s tightest embrace!
Knowing Amanda was a privilege; you were gifted with far, far more than that, Celia – LOVING HER TO THE END! God LOVES you!
Amanda was YOUR WORLD since she was born! It was such a beautiful relationship which you will treasure until you are up there with her! Nevertheless, I hope and pray that as you have TO MOVE ON, for Amanda’s sake – you may always be optimistic about life! It will indeed be highly difficult but possible! Will always pray for you, Amanda, n your entire family! Keep your faith n love for the things and events that will still be coming your way! You have always been strong; but NOW~ more than ever, a strong determination to move on and succeed is highly needed and should be your agenda in life. Will continuously PRAY n WISH YOU THE BEST FOR WHAT IS YET COME! Ur loyal friend Livvy
My dear Celia,❤️🩹
I was not blessed with an Amanda but compensated with three daughters-in-law whom I cherish.
I truly empathize with you, my dear Celia, and pray for the peace that comes after grief and a gift of faith.
You now have another guardian Angel to help you navigate this journey. Be happy with your Andy and your other children while life moves on for that is what Amanda will want now for all of you.
Take care, dear friend. ❤️🩹
Dearest Celia – Your love triangle, as I had described it, is alive and glorious. I believe that your two partners, God ( Head Partner) and Amanda (Angel partner) are now preparing to welcome you, in His perfect time. How awesomely reassuring is that!
Aww, what a nice story! I love the card – and how she kept it and chose to give it to you.
I have witnessed your love team, (though only through our zoom meetings – wow, that was monthly ever since 2020?) – how both of you would listen to each other, express your thoughts and feelings truthfully and unconditionally.. sometimes you would argue but would always end up with happy solutions. It was such an amazing mother and daughter tandem! Amanda always brought those sparks during our small group meetings and always provided us with wonderful ideas!
You are truly blessed Celia – now even more with Amanda so spiritually connected with you. Thank you for sharing her with us.
I pray for her and to her everyday.
Stay strong and happy, Celia❤️
Dear Celia, I love how Amanda knew you so well and trusted that like her, you will find her gesture of love through the card sooo cute. It communicated how comfortable and confident she was of your love. How truly reassuring! You truly have a treasured angel in heaven who will be with you in spiritual accompaniment and will continue to warm your heart with beautiful memories of how she is looking out for you in this life and preparing you for that time when you met her again in the presence of the Lord in His most perfect time. You are loved and blessed.
Dearest Celia, Amanda’s card is beautiful and more so was her letter and how she prepared to celebrate your birthday. The.cards, the trips, the articles she wrote, the prayers you shared together, her deep love for you for 38 years, will give you the strength to carry on. Our Lord loves you.
Dear Sis Celia,
What a touching, moving sharing!
One of the greatest gift God has given to us women, is the privilege of being entrusted with His “breath” not only once with our own life but as many as the children He allowed us to carry in our womb. It is His breath of life!
How blessed we are to experience not only the joys of motherhood but even the pains that came along with it. Those pains made the gift even more dear and precious more so the very fruit of that gift which gave purpose to our lives…our children.
What you and Amanda had was deep love borne of the Father. You were able to nurture it well that it grew in Amanda’s heart. When she needed strength, you were there. You were her anchor of security…
For us who believe in the Father’s will, there is pain and sadness in parting but we continue to trust. Grateful for the lent time and the many woven memories created. Amanda was called ahead to fulfill her dream of preparing the way for you and Bro Andy. Your angel is at work and praying. When your room in the Father’s house is ready, she will be there waiting to embrace you both.
This is so touching Celia, and thank you for sharing. Such a gratifying love from Amanda, and her heart filled with thanksgiving for the care you had given her throughout her life, and her desire to care for you in return. I can only offer my continuous prayers that the life you spent with her, your untiring love and care, your dedication and devotion to her, console you in her passing, and I believe that all these will truly be fulfilled when you are all reunited in the bosom of our Loving Father and Good Shepherd. May God continue to bless, strengthen, console and encourage you, Celia.
Celia and Amanda’s story, as we picture throughout what has come before, is so compelling in finding new meaning in the special bond between mother and child and family at a time when we find ourselves in the midst of challenging times, where so many are lost from what is basically good and following the path where love has become irrelevant whence it is easier to discard, forget and hate.
The story of Celia and Amanda revolutionized what can be easily lost these days. They showed that love and sentimentality is much alive even today as they tackle the challenges life brings. Celia never hid her great love for Amanda and made it a testament to the world. As she grieved audaciously with a mother’s love and made the world see how wonderful it is for a mother and daughter to have loved with all their hearts. It was so touching Amanda’s gift showing her great love for Celia. It is wonderful to know that there remains in this society true love between mother and child. Short may be their years together, the gathered memories, beautiful ones… to last a lifetime.
It is a special blessing to have found a way to relay to Celia and family our thoughts on Amanda’s passing and to let them know that they are not alone in their darkest hours.
Letting go would not be easy, especially for parents in the passing of a dear child ahead of their own. Their beloved daughter Amanda would now be in the spiritual dimension, alive and happy with the Lord forever. Thus, her loved ones will never feel alone and remain happy in service for the Lord and others so that the path to God’s kingdom is well lit until reunited in eternal embrace with the Lord!
Thank you so much, MrsD., Ernie, Livvy, Corinna, Terry “Baby,” Bernie, Raquel, Cynthia, Jun, & Art! Your comments have brought me consolation and God’s peace and joy.
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