Shifting Sands

MARIA ISABEL C. SANTOS 

I distinctly remember seeing the misshapen form of Taal volcano after its eruption and thinking to myself how easily things can change. We had just done a family hike in that very same volcano just weeks before, admiring its beauty, and here I was, looking at a pile of ash that didn’t even remotely resemble the view I had seen just weeks prior.

Little did I know then that it was a premonition of what would happen in my life. The year 2020 was going to be a year of shifting sands.

Early that year, the world locked down due to a pandemic and we were cut off from our relationships and usual activities. But it also gave me time to slow down the pace radically and “enjoy the flowers,” or so I thought. One banal morning, I was taking a bath and noticed something different with my left breast. I can’t explain why but I immediately thought, “It’s cancer,” and I bathed in tears, water flowing from the shower head and my eyes as I let my body absorb and prepare for the worst possible news. Everything that happened after felt like a Spartan race.

The next day, I sought consultation with Tita (aunt) Grace Pasigan, and her face was all the news I needed. I immediately got a mammogram, which confirmed my greatest fear – BiRad 4, a high likelihood of malignancy. Mom immediately contacted Tita Pilar Almira, who referred me to the best surgeon she knew – Dr. Sherry Lee, who conducted a biopsy to plan the best course of action.

A season of shifting sands. Those words came to me while I painstakingly waited for the biopsy results. But it was also a beginning of miracle upon miracle manifesting in my life. I had not told anyone yet of my possible diagnosis, but Luis Oquinena called me out of nowhere, sharing that they were planning a praisefest – on the very day my results would be released. He also shared the inspiration that had come to him, the story of the hemorrhaging woman, and I broke down like a dam had been released. He had no idea what I was going through, but God used him and the praisefest team to reassure me that I was already healed by faith.

That morning, I sang a song for the Praisefest and cried my heart out, and just like the story, I felt healing come over me. It wasn’t physical healing, but something more profound – God had healed me from fear. And since that day, I felt a calmness come over me and an overwhelming sense of peace that I had nothing to fear. That still, small voice I heard saying “shifting sands” now became a firm reassurance. It was now – “In this season of shifting sands, I am still your faithful God.”

Soon after the praisefest, I went to see my doctor, who confirmed that I had Stage 2B cancer. Unlike most cancer patients, Dr. Lee asked me why I didn’t cry in her office that day. How could I when the Lord of the Universe Himself had told me this was a battle He had already won. The only thing required was for me to persevere in faith.

I underwent a mastectomy and needed to wait (again) to receive the official results that would define my treatment protocol. I had one prayer, which was for it to be the shortest/least amount of chemotherapy so my body wouldn’t take a beating. On the day I received the results, we were driving out of our village to go to work, and the car in front of us had this big sign that said: “Is there anything impossible for me? – God.”

When the phone rang, I knew it – just six rounds of chemotherapy. Though the battle had just begun, the victory had already been won. And the rest, as they say, is just a story of amazing grace.

I have been a walking miracle for a little over two years, and I know that I am in remission on a mission to share God’s faithfulness and to remind all of us to live life to the fullest. Life can change in a split second, so let’s value what we have, make the most of this beautiful, blessed life, and try our best to make every encounter with others a reminder of God’s goodness. I have been so blessed to have the most amazing prayer warriors, a support group who have seen me through the best and worst of times, and I can only pray that I can be an instrument to bless all of you the way that you have so richly blessed my family and me.

There was a time when I would lose everything, but God gave me much more. In a season of shifting sands, he has revealed the greatest gift – the beauty of each new day. May we treasure it until the day He calls us home.