CELERY
It has been five months since my daughter, Amanda, died suddenly. Only those who have experienced the loss of a daughter or a son under various circumstances would know what and how this feels. But the Lord understands and is with me in my affliction. He has allowed the death of my child for a reason.
For one, despite my aches and pains, my daily life has become a constant renewal. The Lord is giving me the energy and the zest to align myself more and more with his divine plan. He invites me to enter his unlimited doors to a vast and beautiful world of blessing and joy for those who believe in and trust him completely. I can’t help but be eager to follow him in amazement – filled with wonder and excitement!
Secondly, because I’ve been trying to empty myself and be open to the Lord’s leading, his radar has become stronger and more apparent. He leads me in the right direction, i.e., reading spiritual books in my e-kindle, watching Bishop Robert Barron and Fr. Columba Jordan on YouTube, taking a break in Tagaytay with my husband, and taking time to relish the company of family and friends.
The message below from Streams in the Desert (June 15) exemplifies what I have been experiencing in the Lord. Indeed, as my Shepherd, he leads me to “green pastures” (Psalm 23).
It’s Raining Blessing
For God hath made me fruitful in the land of my affliction. – Gen 41:52
The summer showers are falling. The poet stands by the window watching them. They are beating and buffeting the earth with their fierce downpour. But the poet sees in his imaginings more than the showers which are falling before his eyes. He sees myriads of lovely flowers which shall be soon breaking forth from the watered earth, filling it with matchless beauty and fragrance. And so he sings:
“It isn’t raining rain for me, it’s raining daffodils;
In every dimpling drop I see wild flowers upon the hills.
A cloud of gray engulfs the day, and overwhelms the town;
It isn’t raining rain for me: it’s raining roses down.”
Perchance some one of God’s chastened children is even now saying, “O God, it is raining hard for me tonight.
“Testings are raining upon me which seem beyond my power to endure. Disappointments are raining fast, to the utter defeat of all my chosen plans. Bereavements are raining into my life which are making my shrinking heart quiver in its intensity of suffering. The rain of affliction is surely beating down upon my soul these days.”
Withal, friend, you are mistaken. It isn’t raining rain for you. It’s raining blessing. For, if you will but believe your Father’s Word, under that beating rain are springing up spiritual flowers of such fragrance and beauty as never before grew in that stormless, unchastened life of yours.
You indeed see the rain. But do you see also the flowers? You are pained by the testings. But God sees the sweet flower of faith which is upspringing in your life under those very trials.
You shrink from the suffering. But God sees the tender compassion for other sufferers which is finding birth in your soul.
Your heart winces under the sore bereavement. But God sees the deepening and enriching which that sorrow has brought to you.
It isn’t raining afflictions for you. It is raining tenderness, love, compassion, patience, and a thousand other flowers and fruits of the blessed Spirit, which are bringing into your life such a spiritual enrichment as all the fullness of worldly prosperity and ease was never able to beget in your innermost soul. —J. M. McC.
SONGS ACROSS THE STORM
“A harp stood in the moveless air,
Where showers of sunshine washed a thousand fragrant blooms;
A traveler bowed with loads of care Essayed from morning till the dusk of evening glooms To thrum sweet sounds from the songless strings;
The pilgrim strives in vain with each unanswering chord,
Until the tempest’s thunder sings,
And, moving on the storm, the fingers of the Lord
A wondrous melody awakes;
And though the battling winds their soldier deeds perform,
Their trumpet-sound brave music makes
While God’s assuring voice sings love across the storm”.
Celia! The Lord walks beside you to comfort you, ease your pain and assure you of the sunshine beneath! You are Blessed!
Your insights, and Celia, you yourself are an inspiration to many (myself included of course), not just to others who have been visited by sorrow just like you over Amanda. And by the way, that’s a very beautiful photo of Amanda.
In 1965 I watched my parents bury their eldest son, our Kuya Johnny at age 23, only three months after he had arrived from his studies abroad for two years.
Ten years later in 1975 we buried my 25-year old brother who left a pregnant widow and a one-year-old daughter who had just celebrated her first happy birthday.
Two years later in 1977 I watched my Mom bury her beloved 57-year-old husband of only 37 years. And in those two succeeding years of 1978 and 1979 she buried her mother and father.
Fourteen years later in 1991 my Mom is at the bedside of my fourth brother who had succumbed to aneurysm.
My mother passed in 2003, spared from the passing of my third brother in 2005.
Yes Celia, the grieving never leaves 🍁 but we need to go through it and find at the very end, the grace of our Mother Mary who endured Her son’s own cruel passion and excruciating death.
Fervent prayers for Amanda and for your peaceful healing ❤️🩹
Thank you Celia for sharing your thoughts , inspiration, Feelings and pains. God is with you. Amanda is so beautiful and surely you miss her. Yes you are blessed and a blessing! Take care.
My dearest Celia, Marivie here… Thank you for sharing your journey. I have been following your blog from its very conception. From one mother to another… I mourned the loss of your beautiful Amanda from far away California. May the Love of Jesus fill your heart and bring solace and comfort. BTW one of my favorite songs from childhood is the song about April Showers. Here is the link… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlcz5MaQY4s&ab_channel=Bing03
(By Bing Crosby).
“Life is not a highway strewn with flowers. Still it holds a goodly share of bliss
When the sun gives way to April showers, here is the point you should never miss
Though April showers may come your way, they bring the flowers that bloom in May
So if it’s raining have no regrets because it isn’t raining rain you know, it’s raining violets
And where you see clouds upon the hills, you soon will see crowds of daffodils
So keep on looking for a blue bird, And list’ning for his song
Whenever April showers come along”
Praying Jesus will send a “bluebird” just to let you know your pretty Amanda is by His side…
Love and prayers!
Thank you Tita Celia for continuing to inspire us with your faith, hope and courage. May God’s holy n loving Presence continue to be with you.
Celia, only a loving God could have turned your mourning into joy! You have set an example of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly! God is good!
God bless you with much comfort and peace.
Celia my prayers are with you . I am awed by your faith .I Your most precious daughter is watching and praying for you everyday.
Celia- thank you for your inspiring words, your courage and strong Faith! I admire how your are able to turn your fears and pains to the essence of love and joy! You are truly blessed!
💞 Tita Celia
Celia, yes it’s raining blessing. For some of us who have gone through a storm, you have been a blessing. Thank you, and thank you for sharing a lovely photo of Amanda.
Thank you, Celia, for continuing to be an inspiration for those of us who are grieving the loss of a child.
I was watching the other day this movie ‘Heaven is for Real’, the story of a four-year-old boy who during his surgery due to a ruptured appendicitis while on the threshold of death, visited heaven, saw Jesus, his great grand-father and his unborn sister who died from a miscarriage and many other heavenly experiences. Even in our own lives, perhaps this kind of movie brings affirmation to our basic beliefs even at times when we are tested so often as we live out our faith journey.
It came to light also that in the great mysteries of the Holy Rosary, that same life journey from the Joyful to Sorrowful and moving on to the Glorious Mysteries affirms the same sequence of life as we follow Jesus in the Light of His love.
And it came to pass, that through all the love between mother and daughter, through all the prayers within that love circle has lit the path of Amanda to heaven and she is now in the Glorious Light with Jesus, happy in the Lord’s loving embrace and is now feasting with the Lord at His table…Dear Amanda, watch over your dear family, your special Mom, and the rest of us as we remain on our own journey still! GOD’S BLESSINGS TO ALL!
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