JO FAUSTINO-PANLILIO
It is our family vacation, but today, I decided to walk alone by the beach and look into the sea. It is a good day and lovely to stop and watch the sun rising. This is one of the true beauties of the world, an invitation to a new day. But I am also caught by the glistening water as the sun touches it. I am awed by the rhythmic rise and fall of the water’s surface and the surge of the waves. Thoughts come to my mind, leading me to reflect on what I see.
Lord God, the sea before me is a vast expanse of water with the waves rushing forward and falling off as a new surge of waves approaches. Life is undoubtedly like this – a vast expanse of possibilities giving way to things yet to come. Now that I am in my 70s, I should focus on what I can do and where I can still go. Should I lie still and be quiet in contemplation of life? Should I rush forward in strong waves led by your guiding hand as you whisper, “Come, I have great and wonderful things for you yet to see?” Should I look as far as I can see, even with my failing eyesight, always believing that you are in control? O Lord, open my eyes to the beauty of what you hold in your hand, still waiting for me to discover. There is time – yes, a lot of time still. I should not be limited by this last quarter of my life.
As I continue to watch the ebb and flow of the waves. I try to seek some meaning in this beautiful movement of the waves. You, O Lord, are in control of everything and have a bigger purpose for me than I can imagine.
Lord, this is not a time or the stage of life to prepare for death, as most of us my age are tempted to do. We should go on living.
A “bucket list”. Yes, I had heard of this term before but did not understand it. But now, I know. Yes, for some of us who have not made our bucket list, it’s time to attend to it. What places do you want to visit, things you want to do and pursue, people you want to meet? It’s never too late. There is time – and that time is now!
Any regrets? Any ill feelings? Any unresolved feelings? The face we see in the mirror right now is a face we sometimes do not remember. Where is that beautiful face, rosy cheeks, bright eyes, well-defined natural eyebrows, long supple neck? What has become of all these? Why do we now see hollowed cheeks, dim and blurry eyes, disappearing eyebrows, wrinkles in our foreheads, and “turkey-like” necks? But then again, we hear God’s voice: “You are my beloved, and nothing can change that. You are ever beautiful in my eyes.” It is time to see the beauty of the aging process. Any physical or external change that does not align with the generally accepted beauty in today’s age may signify a more significant and profound beauty than we should believe we have.
You, O Lord, have gifted and blessed us with that. There is wisdom in years of increased maturity to support the young and to be their ears when faced with many questions. We have the great capacity and the time to listen and be present.
Lord, help me focus my mind and heart on what lies ahead. Help me discover the still unfinished parts of myself. Can I still be what I never intended to be? Grant that I may not concentrate on what I have lost or continue to feel like losing: my young physical and supple appearance, my physical strength, my achievements and titles, my status, my capacity to earn more, my sharp mind, my feeling of authority towards my children and other people, my “voice” towards many situations and circumstances, my seeming feeling of being useless. Loneliness or emptiness is not the way to go.
Lord God, I open my heart and mind to you. You are the ONE who could listen to all my fears and doubts. Please help me to place myself entirely in your care and to abandon myself to you. Please give me the courage to continue to face retirement and old age as a time of using the skills and experiences you have allowed me to accumulate through the years.
To Him who can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power at work within us, to Him be glory…forever and ever. (Ephesians 3:20-21)
AGING AS A TIME OF DISCOVERY
We want to grow old gracefully, carefully, and deliberately. Is this still the age to take risks and change? Why now, this late? Lord, why does becoming old sometimes seem to be filled with fear? And why does Aging seem to be a sad human fate that nobody can escape? How do I turn all this fear, this anxiety, into something positive? I once read that “Aging is a time of discovery. Of what, we ask? We find out for ourselves. Otherwise, it won’t be discovery,”- it says.
Some friends of mine have embarked on different hobbies. One has gone to knitting bags, throwing pillow covers, mittens, and bonnets. Or I am creating eyeglass holders or necklaces. A few have gone to raising succulents, priding themselves with the variety of their plants. Some are more adventurous, going into canoeing, snorkeling, and trekking. Others have gone into dancing, playing a new instrument like the piano or the ukulele, or learning a new language. One has even embarked on working with Lego for a creative exercise for the mind and for other reasons. I have developed a greater interest in cooking and baking, not considering it now a chore but an exciting leisure activity. And beyond that, I am currently trying to write – reflections, memoirs – whatever comes or strikes my mind. It exercises my mind; it allows me to think and reflect and put them into words. And even to find the correct spelling of words when I start doubting myself. There are endless possibilities to learn, to discover what we can still do and enjoy or improve on.
Lord, thank you for these moments when you inspired my friends and me to embark on something and try to use our hands, minds, and hearts to find something creative. Thank you for the joy you allow us to feel in discovering ourselves – discovering the extraordinary grace in the ordinary of our present every day. May we never forget or overlook the beauty in our lives.
“How blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel; They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks, discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain.” (Psalm 84: 5-6)