Church of the Mount of Beatitudes, Capernaum, Israel
CELERY
Some years ago, I had a passing encounter with a tiny white butterfly while on a retreat. The effect, far from passing, led to the birth of this blog.*
The image of the butterfly lingered in my awareness during Mass that day. God clearly had a message for me: be pure, small, and humble as that white butterfly. It was an invitation from the Lord that I was free to accept or reject.
Mount of Beatitudes
I recently traveled to Israel, under stress, and with a somewhat heavy heart, due to my husband’s illness (dementia). I did not expect anything from the trip except to take that much-needed break. But I was open to whatever God might have for me in that special place.
On the first day of the tour, I saw a tiny white butterfly pass before my knees in the desert, then again on the last day. I felt God’s invitation there once more, but so unexpectedly at the Church of the Mount of Beatitudes! This time it came with deeper meaning. The image of a butterfly, I realized, is just a reminder of something much more than the Lord had revealed to me.
Blessed are the Poor
As our priest-guide, Fr. Jacques Philippe, spoke about the first beatitude, my tears flowed profusely and continuously. With the beatitude, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” came God’s personal message for me.
I am poor before the Lord. The burdens I carry are part of my poverty. It covers all the pain, sorrows, frustrations, and disappointments I experience throughout my life. It includes the insecurities of my childhood when I felt unloved and unworthy. It encompasses my limitations, shortcomings, and sinfulness as in those times when others hurt or rejected me, and it was difficult for me to forgive; or when I was myself the offender.
I need to recognize and accept all these as part of being poor. I cannot deny my dark side because it is part of who I am. And when I acknowledge, surrender, and bring these all up to the Lord – my brokenness and all negativity go away.
My acknowledging before the Lord that I am poor is the most crucial of all. And in this most humble posture before God, he fills up my emptiness and gives me everything I need. He heals me. He makes me whole and complete. Contentment, lightness, freedom, and peace accompany me. This is the heart of being poor in the spirit. I learn to walk God’s path and place myself in total dependence on him. I am not only likened to a tiny white butterfly, but I need to live like one too.
* “An Invitation,” November 25, 2017 (Article #1)
Read to blind Evelyn and her dictated reaction was :
“A very inspiring and touching story that resonates with us. God’s grace accompanies us to our journey back to Him. Evelyn”
Oh this is what Thomas Merton calls the stripping of the false self and the birth of the True Self , the God in you . God manifest in you. This is so profound in its simplicity and truth. Thank you.
Truly Celia! God strips us of everything that is flesh. No, I do not mean ‘flesh’ as in evil’, but our humanity, our tendency to sin, our lack …. our being ‘dust’. We need to ‘remove our sandals’ before entering the ‘Throne of Thrones’! It is an experience of being humbled, but to submit to it, means for us,, GAZING AT GOD’S .HOLY FACE! That is the COMPLETION, we all seek.
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