To Shed and To Shred

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TERESITA TANSECO-CRUZ

Imagine living for decades in a somewhat roomy domicile, then moving to a suddenly smaller abode half the size and facing arduous decisions on what to keep or discard as you plow through furnishings, clothes, and tons of papers, photos, and souvenirs!

In one such move recently, as I contemplated my “micro” paper shredder mercilessly reducing now-worthless documents to unrecognizable bits, I imagined myself leaving another kind of place: the one dominated by my overstaying ego. I wondered how much muscle I would need to dislodge this squatter from its seemingly permanent spot and shred it to smithereens! Moreover, how would I shed those familiar furnishings called attachments, to which I cling possessively? Quite daunting, even excruciating! How can I let go of my long-nourished needs to look good, win arguments, judge, or control others? Would I suffer from withdrawal symptoms? What “moving company” would I call?

I call on Him in whose company I find all hope and answers. He shows me patiently, one day at a time, how to loosen my white-knuckled clutch at valued attitudes and endeavors that distract me from his call, begging Him to lead me to a dwelling where the clutter of attachments and egos has gone.  In joyful freedom, I welcome Him to my new home, my renewed life.  I pray daily to move there!

So much tugging at my spirit; I cannot keep still.
What to embrace? What to reject or toss?
I look around, within me, then up that hill.
And with a humble heart, ask the One on the Cross.