As we celebrate the feast of St. Joseph this month, in the year dedicated to him by Pope Francis, we present stories honoring the human yet divine fatherhood of St. Joseph. As the earthly father of Jesus, Joseph humbly and faithfully showed us how a father’s guiding, protective love for his child should draw from the heavenly Father’s boundless love for His Son and for us.
LOLITA DELGADO FANSLER
Similar to the underwhelming mention of him in the Bible, St. Joseph was basically silent or asleep throughout most of my young life, as far as I remember. In Grade Five, Sr. Marie Lorraine gave us a month to gather and show her all the religious estampitas (small religious pictures) we had at home, with an image of St. Joseph. On due-date, I approached her desk with a half-inch thickness of holy pictures assembled from my parents, grandmother, house help, and all our prayer books. Sister glanced through each one and set aside a handful. Then she announced to the class: “Please throw away any illustrations you may have depicting St. Joseph with white hair; the Blessed Virgin did not marry an old man. He had to be young and strong to be able to walk from Nazareth to Bethlehem with a pregnant Mary; then after the Three Kings’ visit, he trekked twice as far to Egypt with Jesus and Mary.”
Fifteen years later my mother blurted out to me, “I think it’s all right for you and Bob to marry.”
“What makes you say that now?” was all I could ask.
“Do you know when Bob asked your Dad and me for your hand?”
“Sure; the night before you left for Europe.”
“You don’t know the date? ….March 19th.”
“Feast of St. Joseph; so…..?”
“I never told you, but once you graduated from college, I prayed non-stop novenas to him for a successful marriage and happy family life for you.”
“Ma, I still went to grad school; spent a year waiting to enter the Maryknoll novitiate; then decided to remain single and concentrate on helping Dad set up the Bishops’-Businessmen’s Conference, and afterwards for me to organize the Association of Foundations. It took four years for me to even consider marriage as an option; you were certainly devoted to St. Joseph.”
I thanked Mom for the novenas, and forgot about St. Joseph. We wanted a small wedding; and since I have a huge clan, we had to marry outside the Philippines. Besides, I’d rather face a room full of bishops or seminarians, than march down a church aisle like a model, with everyone staring at my gown.
Jesuit family friend Fr. Rudy Fernandez, then assigned in Hiroshima, agreed to find us a rustic little church somewhere in Japan. We didn’t print any invitations; computers, cellphones, and destination weddings were unheard of in 1971; so the exchange of letters was snail-paced. By the time we received a photo of the charming chapel in Niko with logs instead of pews, we were committed to marry in Hong Kong because it was more convenient for the handful who simply announced they would attend. My father’s friend offered his garden on Victoria Peak with the harbor view; but we later found out that Catholic weddings were only allowed in two churches, one in HK, the other in Kowloon. Since we were all staying at the Hong Kong Hilton, we had no other choice but the assigned, and nearby, Church….of St. Joseph.
Mom was convinced the saint had given us his blessings twice; Bob and I started calling him St. Joe, hearing Mass every March 19th.
in Hong Kong.
Fast forward to the 2020 pandemic, when our two sons, who also live in Manila, banished us to West Virginia, where we have a house to spend four months each summer with Bob’s family. Zane and Quint, who had spent vacations experiencing a different life in rural America, knew their father wouldn’t survive a complete lockdown in an urban condo. At least in WV, we could hike and spend unlimited outdoor time seeing more deer than humans.
The parish priest of St. Thomas Aquinas Church in the town of Thomas, WV (population 500), offered his parishioners the opportunity to consecrate themselves to St. Joseph after undergoing 33 days of reading, study, plus prayers. Since Bob is not a Catholic and would not be interested, I signed up and ordered the Consecration to St. Joseph: The Wonders of Our Spiritual Father, by Fr. Donald Calloway, MIC. When the books arrived months after March 19, Fr. Grassi announced that he would lead the participants in the final Consecration to St. Joseph after Mass on the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel; after all, St. Joseph was her husband. I picked up my copy, counted backwards from her July 16th feast day, then started my 33-day journey in June.
In his book, the author writes that Jesus grew up under the roof and care of Joseph and Mary; hence, the consecration means that you acknowledge St. Joseph as your spiritual father and entrust yourself entirely to his paternal care so that he can lead you to God. Mary’s spouse will give those consecrated to him his loving attention, protection, and guidance.
I had a wonderful relationship with my father, and when he passed away in 1992, I never thought that anyone would ever replace him in my life.
After a week of daily readings, prayers, and reflection on the life and virtues of St. Joseph, I started warming up to this quiet and humble saint. He was married to a beautiful woman conceived without sin; his foster son was the Savior of the World; he was only a poor carpenter, yet he was chosen to be the head of the Holy Family. Who else can help us get to know Jesus in a more personal way than the man who raised him together with the Blessed Mother?
One day I looked back to when I started this journey of 33 days with St. Joseph. It was June 13th, the feast of St. Anthony of Padua, my father Tony’s patron saint. I realized that because he was no longer around to guide and protect me, Dad was endorsing St. Joe as my spiritual father.
Bob and I are from two different worlds, diverse in age, race, color, creed, upbringing, schooling, urban/rural, Third/First World…yet on September 25, 2021, we will have been married for fifty years; probably because Bob would rather be silent than start a fight.
“Ma, St. Joe has answered your nonstop novenas!”
A very inspiring journey with St. Joseph….
Lolita, your contribution to White Butterfly, though long-awaited, comes perfectly timed for me!
My interest in St. Joseph was awakened just several months ago, stirred further by the recollection talk of Fr. Mon Bautista, SJ.
Now comes your unique story with “St. Joe”, animating and inspiring even more my budding relationship with St. Joseph. It’s so alive and personal and I like the very active “supporting cast ” of Tita Nellie and Tito Tony!
Thank you, dear Lolita!
Your personal story of St. Joseph moving in your life was certainly interesting! It held me through the article’s end. Your Mom’s prayers and sense of St. Joseph’s walking alongside you were most REAL after all and none that could be brushed away. He lives and continues to TOUCH lives, consistent with the St. Joseph we know, humble, quiet unassuming! Yet ENTRUSTED by the Father with His PRECIOUS, ONLY SON! The madre was right! St. Joseph needed to be STRONG WITHIN, where it matters.
Lolita, thank you for sharing your very inspiring story. A kind person like you surely deserves all the family love and happiness that us being showered on you
What a great write up of St. Joseph. Thank you . You know, I am a devotee of St. Joseph , matter of fact, I have a sleeping St. Joseph by my bedside , sometimes I even write a small note , a favor , and place it underneath the statue. At one time , when I wanted to sell a property in the states , and was told to bury the statue , make my wish, which I did, and you know what? Property was sold. I gave one to a friend who wanted to sell her property too, and alleluia! She sold it. Thank you St. Joseph . Thank you Lolita .
Lolita, your story is very personal and inspiring. I myself just started to pray to St Joseph for a happy and holy family. Congratulations on your forthcoming 50th wedding anniversary! May you have many many more.
Sylvia Banzon! A blast from the past…how wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for reading and commenting on my St. Joseph story. When the pandemic ends, and this Covid Refugee makes it back to Manila, let’s have lunch in my condo; we have decades of catching up to do. Stay safe and healthy. Sending you lots of. love, lolita PS: pls.send me your coordinates cuz I couldn’t open it from this site. Am hoping this is a private message to you.
Very inspiring, beautiful story of devotion to St. Joseph. Thank you for sharing, Lolita
Thank you for your wonderful essay, Lolita. It’s an inspiring testament to the intercessory power of St. Joseph in your life and to your mother’s deep devotion to him.
What a lovely, personal story about St. Joseph in your life, Lolita. Thank you. It is wonderful that you recognized and realized St. Joseph’s silent presence and guidance throughout your married life. Personally, I too have had a deep devotion to St. Joseph since I started a family. Thank you St. Joseph.
Enjoyed your article, Lolita. Thanks.
I have a sleeping St. Joseph on my altar near my bed.
I have slept with him since our Pope came to
Visit . I think I will start chatting with him soon.
Truly inspiring life story guided by St. Joseph father of our Lord Jesus. Thank you for sharing ,so blessed been part of Delgado family. Stay safe and healthy.
Thanks Lolita for taking the time to write about your devotion to St. Joseph. Celia has made it possible for friends and classmates to read about each other in a private way, so thank you too, Celia. I still have an arm’s length relationship to St Joseph, since I have been nurturing more my attention towards Jesus and Mama Mary. But I do know that “St. Joe” would have a positive influence in my life if I only put my mind to it. So here goes, in the next couple of weeks. Thanks for pushing me in that direction. I miss not seeing your parents anymore, but we are their age now while they look down on us.
So inspirational, and so connected to your personal life, which shows how a BIG GIANT of a FATHER, of the Incarnate, Jesus
Somehow walked with you in your lifetime. Very good narrative! 👍
And from your Protestant friend: What a remarkable sequence of events! Thankfully one you have shared with others, so that we can feel the warmth of the support and solace you receive from St Joseph. I shall take a hard copy of your story over to our mutual friend, Isabel, when I next drop in to see her. Advance congratulation to you on your approaching GOLD!
Lolita, I can only repeat all the comments on your “story” and could not add more. I can’t believe you have had your golden anniversary! I still think of you as “very young”. BTW Tony was 20 years older than me and also remained silent rather than fight or argue. I also have a sleeping St. Joseph given to me by a Calupitan relative.
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