MAYBELLE BANGAYAN TI
Father’s Day. I celebrated 43 Father’s Days in the past. The 44th one is my first one without our dearest Daddy—the thought of not being able to hug our earthly Teddy-Bear Daddy on this day stings. At the same time, we are overwhelmed with gratefulness over the goodness of our amazing Heavenly Father — the greatest Daddy of all.
It was in April 2013 when Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer for the very first time. By God’s amazing grace, the tumor was discovered at an early stage as an incidental finding. Most people diagnosed with liver cancer only find their illness when cancer has spread, causing the patient pain and discomfort. At that point, doctors usually tell these patients they only have a few months left to live. Being a doctor himself, Dad knew it was the Lord who nudged him to go for an ultrasound that day so that the well-contained tumor would be seen before it metastasized. All he needed was surgery to remove the tumor. We were all so grateful to the Lord that he didn’t need any other treatment, especially since Dad was already turning 83 at that time.
Because liver cancer is very aggressive, we knew from that day on; we only had our Daddy with us on borrowed time. True enough, cancer recurred in 2015, and then, again and again, year after year after year. Each time it recurred, we were blessed with the availability of treatments that addressed the tumors directly. Dad would rest at home for about one or two weeks post-treatment, and then he’d spring right back to work – or even travel.
Yes, this liver cancer survivor in his mid-80s was still traveling. The constantly looming knowledge of a possible recurrence may seem like a big, depressing threat to others. To our family, however, it was God’s precious gift of T-I-M-E. We, as a family, wanted to make the most of whatever time God would give us to create more wonderful memories with Dad.
Mom made sure to plan many trips to beautiful destinations. She would plan a family trip at least once every year. Hawaii. Different parts of Europe. Australia. New Zealand. Batanes. The most memorable one for us was the fulfillment of our dream trip to South Africa and Zambia. Dad and Mom still had some sweet adventures between those family trips on their own, where they made such precious memories together.
As the years went by, we witnessed how Dad was slowing down because of his age. Traveling with him at this point meant taking more breaks and holding his hand as we walked around. We treasured every opportunity to hold his big, soft hands more and more as they came by. These were the same strong hands that carried us when we were young, comforted us when we were distraught, and demonstrated so much love and care for us whenever he would prepare fruits for us to enjoy or fix our broken things. It was our time to take care of our Daddy, who has always been both our cuddly teddy bear and our robust and loving protector.
In December 2019, it seemed like the recurrence came much sooner than we expected. This time, the numerous lesions scattered in different parts of Dad’s liver. Any treatment that would successfully target each of these nodules could take a significant toll on his now 89-year-old body. Dad received the most optimal treatments he could have at this point, and we all just prayed for the best. In the next few months, we could no longer deny that this cancer was coming back at a much faster rate. Not long after, in March 2020, COVID-19 struck our country – we had to make all decisions within the confines of lockdown, mask-wearing, and social distancing.
One morning in May 2020, after we presented to him all the options available, Dad decided to surrender all treatment to the Lord and enjoy whatever time he has left with family within the comforts of his own home. His only request was to be kept comfortable in his last days. While it pained us to realize that we only had a few short months left to be with him, we all found inexplicable peace in his decision. Dad’s remaining months were going to be all about meaningful, quality time with family. To prepare him for his homecoming to the Lord – is a much more beautiful picture than one of going in and out of the hospital for treatments that would merely extend his life a month or two longer. Furthermore, the risk and anxiety of contracting Covid-19 would only make it much worse.
Again, God gave us the most precious gift of T-I-M-E.
We were blessed with numerous opportunities to go all out in expressing to Dad just how much we loved and appreciated him. Father’s Day. Wedding Anniversary. Dad’s 90th Birthday. We made sure that each occasion would be significant and memorable, knowing that they would be the last of each kind. We visited him every day, exercised with him, gave him soothing massages and personal barber services. We also got to hear sweet words from Dad about how he appreciated all our care through all these.
Our Heavenly Father used these last precious months to bring us the best gift of all: healing. While God did not cure Dad’s physical body, He brought healing to our family relationships through our bonding. It was an outpouring of love between husband and wife, parents and children. No regrets. Nothing left unsaid. Cancer has a beautiful way of teaching us to focus on what truly matters.
On October 2, 2020, my 15-year-old daughter, Sophie, asked Dad, “Grandpa, do you know how much Jesus loves you?” It was the start of a beautiful conversation that ended with Dad thanking Jesus for being his ‘visa’ to heaven through His gracious sacrifice on the cross. Dad understood and acknowledged that he was soon going to heaven, not because of the good things he had done in his life, but all because of what Jesus had done for him. By God’s amazing grace, Dad surrendered his entire life to His Master, Jesus, in complete, child-like faith.
It was ten days after this beautiful prayer of surrender that Dad went home to be with Jesus in the most beautiful way – peacefully in his sleep, with all of us singing praises to God and telling him how much we love him. Through all our tearful goodbyes, we experienced tremendous peace knowing that Dad is basking in the most glorious and joyous presence of our amazing Heavenly Father!
While we will miss our dearest Daddy in all the Father’s Days to come, we give the highest honor to our Greatest Father in heaven. His design and His timing are always perfect. Indeed, He “causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Rom. 8:28)
Thank you, dear Father, for lending us our Daddy! Thank You that He is now experiencing the greatest joy of all – basking in Your heavenly presence!
*VIDEO BELOW – GOD’S GIFT OF TIME WITH DAD
Such a beautiful tribute to a very much loved man. He was truly a very loving and thoughtful father, always thinking of his family.
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