On Being Limited, Yet Flourishing

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 A SELF-SKETCHED PORTRAIT

CONRAD F. VIRINA

I cannot help but share the unexpected grace the Lord has allowed me since my 2018 stroke.

A massive stroke left me with double vision and paralyzed my horizontal sight. I cannot see well without an eyepatch.

A massive stroke weakened my whole right side, so I cannot walk without a quad cane. I can’t even sign my name since I was right-handed.

So now, I can no longer walk or run. Much less hold a teaching job.

My whole life as I knew it suddenly stopped.

I was confused. I was angry. I was spinning into depression. I didn’t know what to do.

I felt like someone thrown against a wall and shattering into a thousand pieces.

But the Lord has been faithful to me and has given me the grace to pick up the pieces one by one as much as I can. And start a new life, another journey. No matter how hard, no matter how different it may be.

With God’s guidance, he pointed out an old “malunggay” (moringa) stump outside our gate. I suddenly noticed the tiny fresh leaves growing from the old stump.

It was growing a new life. And this phenomenon gave me hope.

I may be chair-bound most of the time today, but Jesus gave me a new life.

For the last two years — after my initial year of therapies — I have picked up the pencil again and taught my left hand to draw.

I started with a coloring book my wife Ellen bought for me. Yup, I started with crayons.

Today, I have made dozens and dozens of sketches. I even wrote and illustrated two small books. People have commissioned me to do their portraits in colored pencils and pastels.

Yes, the Lord has given a flourishing new life to his limited Conrad. He has given me new hope.

 

7 COMMENTS

  1. What an inspirational account! This would bring hope to those who are about to give up or even those who have already lost all hope. Thanks for sharing your experience.
    I admire the illustrations of your books, specially that of BE LIKE BAMBOO. About forty years ago I wrote a short poem I entitled “I Am Bamboo.” Your drawing matches my poem!

  3. Conrad – just read this now from a book I am reading and it reminded me of your discovery of the malunggay stump.

    But isn’t this what will happen when God will call us to our final home to a new life?

    “The one thing is to keep obedient in spirit, then you will be ready to let the flower-time pass if He bids you, when the sun of His love has worked some more ripening. You will feel by then that to try to keep the withering blossoms would be to cramp and ruin your soul. It is loss to keep when God says ‘give’.

    For here again death is the gate of life. It is an entering in, not a going forth only; it means a liberating of new powers as the former treasures float away like the dying petals.”

  4. Hello, Conrad. I was checking out White Butterfly’s Sunday reflection offering with usual interest, when the title of your reflection jumped from the screen – at once so arresting and so consoling. I next saw your self sketch, followed by the first line of your piece. I sensed then that I was about to delve into a story of remarkable faith, courage, and hope. I came away with so much more.

    Thank you for the generosity of your spirit. Thank you for telling us of your feisty, humble journey from the ground up. May God continue to sustain you in His faithful company as He has no doubt been doing. May you keep inspiring others as you flourish each day with diminished limitation.

  5. I thank you all for the kindness. It was grace and grit that fueled my new journey to our East.
    I leave you the two words that Ernie Maipid left with me: fortitude and gratitude.
    And the verse that keeps me walking: psalm 126:5

  6. I shall add that all to my “pilgrim’s arsenal” so I, too, may trek through rough terrain with the transcendent trust you have placed in God through your journey.

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